(NOT SO) SMALL TALK - New Year, New Me. That's What I Said!

The final week of every year is always my time to thoroughly reflect on the previous 358 days. You know, pinpoint and label my errors, acknowledge my support, recognize my accomplishments, and plan for my upcoming victories. Growing pains was the theme for me this year. I outgrew new friends I was initially excited to have around, outgrew old friends I thought could always be around, I'm an extreme mommy's girl, outgrew that (somewhat), outgrew lingering "love", I grew in the world of social media. my network grew, my wardrobe grew, my agenda grew, my dream grew.

I remember way back when, this would always be a dismal experience. All I could see was what I didn't do. You didn't save this, you still don't have this, you still don't weigh this and look like that. It took time and tears to be able to see that with my fails came plenty of success that shouldn't be overlooked; that a fail is really that only when you do not try again.

Last year on this day, I wrote out 10 base goals. I knocked out 6, and barely touched the other 4, I'm just being honest. But December 31 isn't the end of the world. You wake up in January, refreshed and optimistic, and put those right at the tippy top of your new list. 1/1/AnyYear is just "another day" ... a new day.

Every year, people positively proclaim that it's going to be a "new year, new me", and before they even get a chance to try and prove it, they get ridiculed for it. Ever considered being a source of motivation and support for them instead of automatically implying  that they're going to fail and end up doing the same ol' shit again? I bet if people subconsciously seeking  support received more of that type of feedback, their success would be more likely.

Tonight, I'm really analyzing the BIGGER picture. The growth. Being active in the world of social media will show you just how many people are naturally negative, bitter, and some just evil. If they thought a teen girl's drug and rape was funny, I surely couldn't have thought I was off limits. Whether it was me as the star of "Thick VS Fat" memes or the comments pouring in "your knees have a face in 'em", "you look disgusting", "fat bitch", "you're not healthy" ... I've heard pieces of it all. Back in 2012, each disrespectful source would have heard my "fuck you" loud and clear. as "grown" as I thought I was. This year I pick and chose my battles based on relevancy. None of the above fell into a notable bracket of course.

 I knew who I was and understood precisely why that made "them" mad. Being confident when you should be broken is intimidating to those unsure of their own purpose in life. They don't know I was a part of THREE 5K races this year and that I walk at least a  mile every morning ... and it's not my job to tell 'em. I laughed and let strangers have their way with my fat knees and thunder thighs this year. At the end of the day ... *Beyonce "Flawless" beat drops*

My mind set and motto for 2015 is "Step Shit Up".Yes. SHIT was the carefully selected word of choice ... because  I need to make it clear that I mean business. See y'all in January ;)