1) “I usually don’t like big girls, but YOU…”
An alternate way to express that you believe I’m “pretty for a big girl” and showcase how much of a close-minded SQUARE you are. Nowadays, I’m never flattered or thrilled when a guy expresses to me that he likes slim women/ is usually repulsed by fat women, but is attracted to me for some reason he can’t even name. I’m a QUEEN, of course you’re attracted to me. But I’m not into being a test run, or experiment. Maybe back in 2009, when I was unsure of myself, but not now. If you only take a certain type of woman seriously, and I’m not it, carry on with your life.
2) “I love that you're so confident”
I know, people (usually) mean no harm when they say this, but it’s shady to me. Almost like an “aww, look at you” -_- … I’m grown. It’s like, sure, you can love the way someone inspires and motivates and cares about themselves … but people always seem to point out your confidence when you’re doing/ wearing something bold and courageous. It’s like, no one makes a big deal about my 115-pound sister’s confidence when she does something normal like wear a swimsuit or bodycon dress, why is it so ground-breaking when a fatty does the same?
3) “What all do you have on underneath your clothes to make you appear so smooth/ proportioned?”
Why, I said WHYYYYY can’t a plus-size woman have a naturally nice physique. And then you tell them you have nothing on underneath, or a light shaping undergarment, or that you don’t wear suffocating Spanx (EVER) or that you don’t bend your ribs out of place waist training, and people actually get salty, as if you’re lying. To be fat is not generic, some people are box shaped, some pear, some hourglass, we all look different. So don’t see a big girl with an inclined waist and automatically think armor is under her outfit. Don’t see a wide-set big girl and think she is obligated to wear all that stuff to look like society’s ideal view of plus-sized beauty. We all look different, but we’re all the same.
4) “If I were your size, I’d want to be just like you”
But you’re not 265, and when you say that, it makes it sound like it’s a curse for me to be. Like, if you were stuck in such an unfortunate situation, then, “ehhh, I guess I ‘d at least want to look like Charisma”. It’s not a compliment. Stop. It’s basic.
5) “I’d never wear that, but it looks so good on you”
I’d probably never wear the standard, humdrum, blah apparel you choose to wear either … but, is it necessary to let it be known at the tip of your “compliment”. Shady.
www.shop-majour.com, promo code: #Charisma for 30% off
6) “I’ve already asked! But where’d you get your (insert garment here)?”
Unless it’s a sponsored feature, I’m not obligated to share where I purchase every single thing I purchase. Most of the time I just miss the comment on the photo, or better yet, I already told the info in my photo caption … but like everyone else, sometimes I don’t care to tell. And again, I don’t have to. It’s all about being inspired YET creating your own signature look.
Preach!!!
ReplyDeleteLike this. I've been plus sized since high school and there was no support for larger women. My self esteem was poor and it didn't help that my mother bought me 'old lady' clothes as if a fat body must be shamed and punished. I found my way out of that when I discovered the real me was not the number on the scale. I've heard the same comments too. When self-love replaced shame, I realized it doesn't matter anymore--I am who I am.
ReplyDeleteGreat post !! Sarah Barnett
ReplyDelete