I'm not Scared of Lions, Tigers, or Bears

I've been reading my horoscope as instructed by my best friend of 13 years, Destiny. I was inspired by my March 26, 2015 reading to write this post. I take pride in being reserved, yet open and sensitive enough to #KeepItReal regarding different growing pains and trials I endure (and always overcome), Sure, some people simply want to meddle in your business, but on the other hand, you never know who you're helping and who thinks they're going through "life" alone, I don't mind showing that sometimes, I'm naive, silly, and vulnerable (along with showcasing my strengths). There's no shame, cause that's lame. You MUST allow yourself to make mistakes and grow. Trial and error.

There will be times when you'll be crying that cry where you're trying to inhale, but can't catch your breath. But, eventually, you'll find a point when you'll exhale (with ease). Four weeks ago, the pain was so excruciating, I, myself, felt as if I couldn't breathe. Taking in the fact that I thought everything was right this time and that the results would be different (but it wasn't) was hard to deal with. Inhaling the fact that 8 months of hope and restoration of my trust and my heart was all a game ... that was a difficult hump to get over. You're shocked, then you're in denial, then irate ... you're heartbroken. Along with your mind racing 300 MPH at all times (Why? When? How?), you're feeling not only a mental and emotional strain, but also exhaustion and physical pain. Other illnesses are inconvenient and cause hurt for a temporary time frame,before vanishing, only for you to forget about the grief. Heartbreak has side effects that linger forever.

Even when you are so-called done hurting, heartbreak greedily steals a chunk of YOU away from you leaving an endless hole you're adamant about filling. No matter the amount of food, casual sex, tears, wrath, or retail you throw into this hole, it remains wide open. Then someone comes along with a single bag of grade-A hope and a shovel, but you're so skeptical about their intentions and certain that this void is permanent that you'll only let them foolishly attempt to fill you up by hand. Little by little, they do that, and you start to feel like you felt once upon a time when your heart was one pure, solid piece.

Your great wall of guard/ insecurity starts to crumble and you're optimistic that THIS TIME actually is different .Without permission, they're filling you with a shovel now, and your hole is overflowing. It's no longer cold and the sun is beaming. You're high from the support, the comfort, the way they eliminate the weight of your past and willingly carry your baggage for you. You're full, and an arrangement of food wasn't the remedy this time. Love has filled you and refurnished your raggedy heart. You're brave, you're loyal, you're open, you're certain, you trust, you believe,

With all of the excitement, you ignore EVERY SINGLE sign/ warning that a storm is brewing. Then, "from nowhere", the rain pours and washes you empty again. Back to Square 1; a lot to give, but too cold, bitter, and hesitant to do so. Why do we love Love, while Love seems to hate us? Because past the deceit and consistent horror stories, we hold tight to that microscopic pebble of belief that that last tale of deception was the LAST one. We hold tight to that half-baked perception of what love is, and what we're expecting from it.

We hurt and we harden ... but only temporarily. The bitter taste that fraudulent devotion and passion leave in our mouths does not linger as long as the heartbreak itself. Deep down we're optimistic and always ready to give (what we hope is) real love another chance,

Love (Always),
Charisma