I Wear What I Want Chronicles, Volume 722

When they tell you to wear maxi dresses because they conceal your fat knees and thunder thighs and drown you in material and allow you to blend in with every other obedient body <

When you do, but pick the most attention-grabbing neon green maxi you can find > 

Fatties like me are advised to generally just avoid stripes, they're just soooooo unflattering on our big bodies. But if you're going to wear them, they say to wear them vertically to appear taller as opposed to wider. Because God forbid my size 20 lower half "appears wide" -_-

I wear whatever stripes I want to wear ... and throw a high split in my skirt, too! Then, watch me rock the shit out. 

Them: "All over leopard is just soooooo tacky and overwhelming. Try a black ensemble with a leopard clutch or leopard shoes, ya' know just a touch. It's much more appropriate and favorable."

Me: You said just a touch of black right?! Got it! Wait. I messed up huh?

We all know that "black is slimming" and white is the total opposite. Which is why most big girls are extremely intimidated by it and people are so reactive (either overly excited or overly critical) when we wear the show-all color. But. #AtTheEndOfTheDay, it's simply a color. Live, and give life.