10 Bad Habits You Should Ditch in 2014 (for the Big Girls)

Needless to say I found inspiration for this post based on my own personal observations, and even some of the things I do. Never have I proclaimed i'm the ideal, picture-perfect plus-sized beauty ... i'm just me. We all have some growing we need to prepare for and allow for the new year, and some things/ people/ habits we should leave behind. 

1) Being bound by your insecurities

I'm always being told, "I wish I could wear/ do that, but i'm too this/ that ... so I can't" . The biggest obstacle stopping you from doing what you desire is yourself. Period.  You have built a negative definition of yourself that can not be demolished by anyone but YOU. You can be told you're the most beautiful woman in the world by your loved ones, but if you look in the mirror and only poke at your jiggly points and state what you wish could be changed, you'll never flourish. It is what it is, I say this often. If you're fat, you're going to be just that in an bulky t-shirt AND in that sexy bodycon you want to wear so badly ... so why not just display your oversized sex appeal? Whatever you want to do, let's actually do it this year.

Do you. Disregard approval. 

2) Stress eating 

Do you ever continue to eat after you're full? 

Do you eat when you're bored, emotional, sad, or even happy? 

Do you eat for fun/ socially without being hungry?

 Do you eat while you watch TV without being accountable?

Do you wake up out of your sleep to have a snack? 

Do you skip two meals and have one colossal one?

Do you consume until you cannot move/ function afterwards, so you sleep instead?

Do you stress eat? 

Cut it out. Pick up a hobby this year instead.

3) Constantly seeking approval

Seeking approval, especially from strangers or irrelevant people, is the perfect way to remain miserable. Whether it's via social media "Rate Me" games or real life, NEVER will everyone be satisfied with who you are and what you stand for. If you believe you're a near flawless 8/10 and you play a Rate Game where everyone says you're only a 3/10, what did that do for you and your self esteem (besides make you self-conscious)? People will always think you shouldn't be wearing this or you shouldn't be supporting that ... but how do you feel? Please tap into precisely how you feel in this new year. 

4) Feeling like you're not good enough .. at this very moment, right now

I often hear people state that once they become famous, once they get married/ a man, once they lose weight ... they're going to be greatness. They're going to somewhat define the phenomenal woman, only once they reach that goal. If you don't feel like that now, while you're working on that goal, once you reach it, you still won't know where to locate the courage, the self-possession, the fearlessness. If you feel broken the entire time reaching for your goal, it doesn't make sense that you'll become strong and unbreakable suddenly. If you sincerely believe you're hideous at 300 pounds, it's going to stem deeper than the fat and when you reach 150, you'll feel the same while looking different. Build your character and make the foundation indestructible. You're so much greater than a "before/ after". Be great, regardless. 

5) Settling for the least

BS relationships and half-ass compliments top the list. You are so capable of deserving the best, the best boyfriend, the best support, the best job/ career, the best fashion. the best life. When you settle it screams to the world that you are only possibly good enough for what you're settling for. It screams to the world that you think poorly of yourself. It is a side effect of low self-esteem. We're OFF all of this for 2014. 

"Do the most" in 2014. 

6) Thinking sexy and raunchy are synonymous

There happens to be a thin line separating the two. Sexy can be vintage, old-fashioned, classic, and so far from trendy. Sexy can be a head full of flexi rods and a smirk. Lifted breasts and cleavage are sexy. Your bathing suit is sexy. Sexy can be sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no make up on. I feel sexy in my dashiki, going to bed. You can wear your boyshorts and be sexy. You may feel sexy in your bodycon. Being raunchy is not the same, there is a time & place for it, and consistently & online is not it. Conceal your camel toe, tuck away your nipples, and put your tongue away ... at least if you want to be seen for more than a sex kitten. All of that, all the time is not necessary. Most of the time, being fully clothed in sharp clothes is the sexiest look of them all. Are you doing too much? Stop. Be effortlessly sexy NOT constantly raunchy. 

7) ONLY feeling complete when a significant other is present

Do I really need to carry on? The only other significant enough to be mandatory in your life is Jesus. When you find yourself needing someone in your life, recall that there was a point when you inhaled and exhaled without complications ... before them. Being lonely sucks. I know, I know. Being stupid, naive, and foolish sucks even greater than that. If you don't feel complete when a spouse isn't present, you still are empty. Let's find what really fills you with life this year ... beyond a man.

8) Hiding

In 2014, I challenge you to step into the spotlight. Stop hiding behind neck-up avis, oversized clothing, and your other "prettier" friends. Stop HIDING. The world may not be ready, time is up though. It's your time. Stop hiding behind food. Stop hiding behind other's confidence, dig deep and dwell in your own. Stop hiding behind doubt and denial. Stop hiding behind what happened in the past. The top of the the year is the perfect time for a fresh start. Step into the spotlight. 

9) Not supporting, putting down, or envying your fellow sisters

All the time, i'm a witness.

Stop being petty. It's okay to support others' blogs and projects, trust me. 

It's perfectly fine that you're and hourglass physique and she is round, you're both fat.

Giving props is not a painful task, try it. 

You're not greater than > the rest of the world 

Be warm. You're supposed to be here to inspire and uplift. 

Your readers are not your groupies, be nice. grow up, get over yourself

Don't be pretentious. You are actually NOT superior. 

We're all beautiful fatties. 

You may not adore, but accept everyone's individual style, because yours isn't the only one. 

Put the lid on the bullshit, simple. 

:)

10) Supporting society's beauty standards

Stop agreeing with and ultimately supporting what society thinks of us. You are the last one who is supposed to be doing such things! We are not "pretty for big girls" we do not "need love too", we are beautiful AS BIG GIRLS and all we really need is to love ourselves. 

We aren't "too big" for anything, we aren't required to follow any rules set up by the close-minded , we do what we want. We don't need to wear girdles 24/7. Are bodies are allowed to jiggle. 

If I want to wear a mini skirt, my fat knees will show. Don't like, don't look. 

I will rock the living hell out of a crop top and not a single ab-line will be present, poke it, I may giggle. 

My face is perfectly round, I will not contour.

I don't live to satisfy society's beauty standards, you better STOP IT in 2014